Irritable Crowd Syndrome

Travel day! Yay! Actually, I don’t hate it most times, but the terrain, wind strength, traffic, and most importantly my current pain factor can greatly affect how it goes. This particular day, I was dreading it terribly as we would be driving from Island Park to Jackson through Yellowstone, with stops along the way inside the national park. Lots of people to contend with again today... not-so-yay.

We succeeded in getting up early, packing up and hitting the road by 6:30. Arriving at the Yellowstone gate, we didn’t have long to wait. Pushing onward, we made it to Madison Campground to dump the tanks and refill our fresh water, then headed south to the Grand Prismatic parking lot, where I never want to be again. The lot supports RV parking, but shouldn’t. The long pull-through spaces are met head-on with traffic leaving the lot, which necessitates either backing out, running over fifty or so pedestrians that won’t get out of the way, or what I did, which is pulling ahead and attempting a U-turn into exiting traffic, with the tail almost hitting the vehicle alongside, then having to back up to not run over the curb as three other vehicles are trying to take my old spot. Why I stopped there at all, I don’t know, as I didn’t get out, staying with the dogs while Al walked around the area seeing the geysers and pools.

My displeasure didn’t end there. While waiting, it became clear that I absolutely despise Toyota vehicles, or at least their annoying multi-beep remote locking systems. Not only do they beep like eight times when unlocking, but some of these moron owners hit the button over and over and over and over again. I actually shouted out the window “I think it’s locked!” to one of them parked alongside me. I’m not kidding, that bleeper-bleeping bleep-of-a-bleep must have done it for three minutes straight. I swear I must have misophonia as repetitive sounds, especially unnecessary ones such as this, will cause my irritability to explode. It wasn’t just that lot, it was at every lot in the entire park. I don’t think the weeklong break from the last trip, the north side of the park, was enough to cool me down.

Thankfully, the next stop was not so bad for parking as I used a rather empty pull-off, as another motorhome had, so I pulled all the way to the front to make it easy to pull out later, then walked to the Grand Prismatic overlook with Al. While the lot was rather full where Al parked, the trail was quite wide, and there weren’t near as many people to contend with along the way or at the overlook. Being that it was earlier in the day, the colors are not as vivid, but we could still see the variances, albeit muted compared to what we have seen in pictures. It was neat seeing the steam venting from the ground in so many places, but I was likely more amused by the chipmunk munching berries from a bush just a few inches from the passers by. Getting back to the motorhome, it too was full with larger vehicles. It was neat to see the old 1930’s Yellowstone tour vehicle parked behind me, but it wasn’t nice to see someone parking their Grand Cherokee tightly in front of me partly into the road. I managed to pull back & forth a few times without hitting either vehicle and getting out onto the busy road. While the other visitors aren’t so kind as to let a big vehicle out, I found it best to just hammer the throttle and go as I’m much bigger than most of them.

We pulled into an almost-empty lot at Old Faithful, again leaving myself so that I could pull out easily for when we left. Also empty was the seating area around the geyser. We weren’t smart or prepared, did not stop in the visitor center or check geyser intervals. Having no phone service there, we couldn’t look it up, but I can tell you now that it’s not as faithful since the intervals can vary from 35 to 120 minutes, averaging 92. We stood or sat there for over an hour, as people were gathering little by little until the place was packed. Once I got up to stand and walk for a bit, a couple men took my seat beside Al, then the lone area where I was standing now had several foreign people surrounding me, a few shouting things in their native language as well as English at the geyser to hurry up and erupt already, and the one directly behind me coughing profusely. Fifteen minutes of that was more than I could take, then the cougher brushed up against me, so I hurriedly escaped back to the motorhome, leaning in to tell Al that I was doing so as I passed him. Al said the geyser gushed a few minutes after my leaving, but that was about all the description he would give. Getting back to the lot, it also was full, of course with two vehicles parked so close that the entry steps barely had room to deploy. I really don’t know how some of these motorhomes with a tow-vehicle attached manage to stop at all of these places through this park and leave fully intact, not to mention with their sanity.

My experience wasn’t all bad at Old Faithful. Shortly after I stood at the boardwalk, another yellow pine chipmunk climbed up, walked on and around my shoes, even sniffed my ankle, then sat there between my feet for a minute or two before jumping down to look for more seeds. I wish more people could be as quiet and respectful as that cute little bugger.

I thought Al was pulling out right behind me, waited a couple minutes but did not see him, then had to get moving as I was holding up another vehicle honked wanting my spot. We had planned to stop at West Thumb again on our way through as we had the week before, but my nerves were shot and I could not put up with any more crowds of people. I had sent him a couple texts and tried to call him, and have no idea how I had phone service but he did not, letting him know I was not stopping. At the turnoff, I decided I did not care and kept driving on to pursue a campsite, then saw him a few vehicles behind me several minutes later.

We rarely go to typical campgrounds in favor of dispersed camping on public land. Not having a reservation, nor being to many of these places previously, we have no idea what to expect. This time, the road had much more rock outcroppings than most. Luckily it was only around a mile of intense clangs, bangs & rattles before we arrived. We knew early on that things needed to be stored securely, and so far nothing has crashed or broken. There are quite a few dishes or glass objects that could use padding to subdue the constant clang of wine goblets that have been unnerving me while driving down the road. Maybe we will find and silence them someday.

So, why am I such a irritable tyrant so much of the time? Imagine there’s a knife sticking through your foot and you spilled a gallon of 150° water on your leg from the calf down. Then your spouse expects you to solve all of the world’s problems, plan every route in fine detail, chauffer them through impossible terrain, tend to the pets, cook, clean, and be happy as can be, all without any help from them. His negligence and disinterest to most everything have made matters worse. My fall was nine years ago, and the chronic pain has mostly increased since then and worsened with each procedure. Sure, there are days better than others, but there are no pain-free days.

Al does do some things to help. He does the grocery shopping, most times he does the laundry but sometimes I help. It took a while to get him to clean the litter box nightly and give Cassie her medicine on a daily basis without being reminded after he’s already in bed. Most of the time, he would be disinterested in conversation, dismissive over any problem, not interested in contributing to planning for a future. I have tried talking to him in the progressively inflated stages of suggesting, asking, begging, pleading, yelling, screaming, and finally me crying in a meltdown/shutdown where I just give up and want out. All he could think to do was make promises that he would take care of things, then quickly forget about them with nary an attempt. He would say he doesn’t want to lose me, but just the same would not suggest or try anything in an attempt at salvaging our relationship.

The last couple weeks have been very difficult between us. I’ve told him many times that he has endless opportunities around him, that anything is possible should he want to try hard enough for it. Everyone deserves happiness and joy. Don’t just BE grateful, EXPRESS IT! I may have somehow gotten through to him recently. He now seems to be interested in resolving our differences, contributing to conversations, and planning for a future. I’m presenting him a new task daily for now in hopes to not overwhelm him and keep things on a progressive path.

Today was another travel day. Things went rather smooth and there were many more pleasantries this time.

With hope, I feel we are on a route to healing. Also with hope, my jets may cool off a bit faster, too.

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