Early Bird

You never really know what people are dealing with unless they open up and tell you. I’ve not been good about being open and honest. I put on the happy mask when I am out and about, but the sad drama mask when I am home. You can’t help me if you don’t know, just like I can’t help you if I don’t know. With encouragement from others, I have talked with several friends who have been on antidepressants and I never knew they were. They talk about how it helps level things out. The lows are gone, but they also knock off the peaks. I’ve always been hesitant about medications, but something has to change, and this one might be part of the solution. I have a problem with ruminating and working myself up to the point that I am overly anxious and crying. Sometimes crying for no good reason. I’ve been taking an antidepressant for less than a week and I feel a little difference. Since starting on them I haven’t cried. My mood feels more even, not always positive, but more “accepting the challenge” than it had been. The crying was not productive and I can see now that it was just a defense mechanism to get out of dealing with any issues. It may seem like a small thing, but it is movement in the right direction, and any progress is a welcome feature!

The days when we get up early, hit the road, and fill them with new and exciting things are the best. Tom had been good about planning these for us, and I’ve been just along for the ride. After too many years of this, he asked me to start helping. The old me resisted, sitting there lazy and unmotivated, causing him to lose his motivation, eventually going on strike. This results in many wasted days and lost opportunities to get out and experience all that’s around us. The new me is working to restore that motivation to get back out there. I want to be helpful and more invested in the planning. I want to find the cool and interesting places that he always finds.

The world is full of wonderful, fantastical experiences and places. We found one such place near Valley of Fire in Nevada while driving along on a trail, when suddenly laid out in front of us was a ginormous snowy owl painted on an old dam’s concrete facade. It’s quite impressive with its wings stretched out in flight. Its bright green eyes seemed to follow our movements, adding a subtle color detail to the black and white figure. I felt small standing next to it, like it could pick me up and carry me away, but climbing to the top of the dam, standing above, I felt like I was soaring on its wings and had more of a conquering spirit. We wouldn’t have seen this if we hadn’t left early enough in the day.

There was more than just the fantastic owl in store for us. The trail led us through the Muddy Mountains, which accurately describes their color. Then islands of red and cream layered mounds began to punctuate the landscape. This splash of color lasted for just a short section before our path continued across the dry desert plateau, where we caught up with a couple fellow jeepers. We shared stories of different trails in the area and each left with new ideas of where to explore. Continuing on, we followed a large wash all the way to the shores of Echo Bay at Lake Mead. We almost got stuck in the loose gravelly sand, but our trusty Liberty pulled us through. We were surprised to see clear blue waters as most of the Colorado River we’ve seen has been murky, but it was also warm to the touch when I dipped my hand.

Deciding to make the return trip on the highway, we noticed an odd grouping of palm trees and a parking lot half-full of cars. That area marks the location of Rogers Spring: a small oasis in the desert which is now a rest area. A natural spring bubbles out from under the rocky slope and creates a small pond and stream. The water was warm and would be inviting on a cold day, but a sign was posted that warned about putting your head under the water. Apparently it contains bacteria that can enter through soft tissue, such as your nose or mouth, and can be fatal. Needless to say, we didn’t plan to put our heads under, or bathe in it anyway. We saw bright orange goldfish swimming in the waters, even though signs are posted warning not to put non-native species into the pools. I’m sure they mean going forward as the fish had previously claimed it as their home, with it unlikely that you’d eradicate all of them or their eggs.

This outing reminds me to make the most of our days. Let’s not waste too many of them while we’re able to get out and go. There are so many interesting, sometimes quirky, experiences that are waiting for us. I’m reminded that it’s best to do the things you have to do early, which then leaves time to get out and see this big old sphere we call earth. I am hopeful that as I move forward, I lean more toward urgency rather than delay.

Seeing things like the painted owl helps me have a more positive, forward-looking energy. There are magical moments like that everywhere: seize the day and go searching for them! A big Thank You to Tom for the planning and getting us going once again.

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